Fashion Crime in the City

Crime is a fact of life when you live in a city. We wish it weren’t, but there you have it. And if you live in the city long enough, you realize that anything that can be stolen, eventually will be stolen, regardless of whether it is worth stealing. Back in the 90s my car window was repeatedly smashed not for my radio, which had already been removed, not for something valuable like a coat or sports gear left in plain view, but for my mix tapes. I remember wondering if the person who stole the tapes was disappointed by so much Uncle Tupelo (or if they were into 90s alt-country and hence kept breaking my window hoping for more).

So, it shouldn’t be very shocking that our flag was stolen off of our flag pole this past weekend. That’s just petty theft.

Walking Towards the Flag Pole at 16th and Q


Fig. 1 – We see the perpetrators walking up 16th Street in the early morning. Whether they were walking towards our flag pole with premeditated ill-intent is unkown at this point.

Stopping by the flagpole


Fig. 2 – The perpetrators give no indication even as they reach the base of the pole that they are doing anything other than cutting across 16th to Q Street.

Down the mast


Fig 3 – Without so much as a recorded-bugle version of Taps, the thieves unceremoniously lower Old Glory.

Fold the flag


Fig. 4 – The fiends begin to fold the flag, but in their defense it looks like they are doing so in the properly sanctioned manner.

What's happening


Fig. 5 – Wait. What’s going on? Our view is momentarily blocked by the naked flag pole, stripped of its standard. Please note that at this point a third person has entered the frame and is observing from the bus shelter.

Fashion crime


Fig. 6 – The thieves stride off with one of them wearing the flag — as what? — as a skirt? As a wrap? As a patch for a split in the seat of his pants? What exactly are they doing with our flag? Please note that the person in the bus shelter has made themselves comfortable.

To steal the flag is surely dastardly, but to wear it as a skirt! Let’s ignore the fact that horizontal stripes are never flattering and that he is wearing the wrong accessories to go with a patriotic-themed wardrobe — that was our flag!

Please bring it back.

If you would like to help us purchase a new flag, please make a contribution to the Washington DCJCC.


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