Alternative for Passover: The Spinning Seder

Love Passover Seder but hate how matzoh, kugel and brisket can pack on those pounds?

Like the story of the Exodus, but struggle with the sedentary feeling of your traditional Seder?

Then join us for the Washington DCJCC’s first annual Spinning Seder: Pedal Out of Egypt. Come together with our qualified fitness staff as they take you on a challenging course of hills, sprints and four cups of wine as we retell the Passover story.  Best of all, the whole thing’s done-with in 45 cardio-health-enhancing minutes.  Our Johnny G Spinning Bikes all come equipped with cup holders to keep that Manischewitz Concord Grape within easy reach, as well as convenient access to the cycling seder plate — complete with roasted egg, parsley, charoset, shankbone and exclusive kosher-for-passover Bitter Herb Cliff Bar.

Why is this night different from all other nights? Because we’re going to get your heartrate up AND tell the story as if we had personally come out of Egypt. If Elijah wants to come to this seder he’s gonna have to pedal hard and keep up. You’ll experience our specially composed Four Questions — written for the Fit Son, the Couch Potato Son, the Training Wheel Son and the Son-Who-Thinks-Nintendo-Wii-is-Exercise. The afikomen will be awarded to the best interval time during the hills course. We won’t say “Dayyenu” until the Grace After Meals has been said, Had-Gad-Ya has been sung, and an appropriate cool-down session along with post-exercise stretching is complete.

When it’s all done, we’ll say as Jews have been saying for years, “L’shana habaya b’Yerushalayim al’Ofnayim.”

Register Today!

Stephen Colbert Rips-Off The Blog at 16th and Q with Salinger Schtick

Yesterday, I posted what should have been obvious: that our April 1 post announcing a reading by J.D. Salinger at the 16th Street J of his new work was just a joke. The reading was supposed to take place on April 31st, a day which does not exist, but if you were looking for it on the calendar, your finger would be hovering between yesterday and today, May 1. I thought it was a decent joke. A couple of people actually registered for the event online. As jokes go, I thought it was okay. I’ve done better. So I was surprised to be watching the Colbert Report last night and learn that our schtick had been stolen…

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Taking a page from his book (not that I bought it), Mr. Colbert, we demand an apology. And just as you have threatened to tear out a story from Nine Stories for every night that Mr. Salinger does not appear on your program, so will we delete an episode of your show from our TiVo until you acknowledge that you or your writing staff are lifting material from this blog. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, but sir, have the decency to acknowledge your sources.